10 Incredibly Bizarre Massage Techniques

Nothing can relax you more than a phenomenally good massage, but when there are so many techniques available, where does one start? The American Massage Therapy Association lists the five most popular modalities of massage as Swedish, Neuromuscular, Deep Tissue, Sports and Shiatsu, but sometimes you can turn up for your appointment, and not quite get what you expected! Check out 10 of the Most Incredibly Bizarre Massage Tools and Techniques we found:

Snake Massage. If ever a massage was conceived that would not put you immediately at ease, this would be it! How do you fancy having half a dozen or more lively snakes wriggle over your body? Therapeutic? Apparently so, as clients who have experienced snake massage report that once you get over your initial “misgivings” the physical contact with the reptiles can be soothing.

Not convinced? Neither were we. So we sent Wendy from the office to find out more.

Shiatsu Massage “Pillow”. Well, they call it a pillow, but there are so many applications that this mechanism can be used for, that it was only fair to include it in this list for the “bizarre-ness” of the uses. The back, neck, lumbar, head, thigh, foot, arm and butt can all benefit from a Shiatsu Massage, and the massage unit can be integrated into a chair, bed or portable unit for use at any time in your daily life.

Wendy says “Whether you would want to experiment on your most delicate features with this particular model is down to you!”

USB Massager. We discovered this to be a very popular plug-in in the office. Sadly, the printers, scanners and internet immediately crashed due to the over-loading on our USB ports, and we had to send Wendy off to the IT department to get our systems running again. Tools such as these USB massagers are incredibly common in Asian workplaces, and we just thought they were oh-so-chilled!

Massage Pen. We discovered a USB massage pen in the course of compiling this article, but after what happened with the massage balls, the IT department told us where to stick it, and there are some things that Wendy will not do! However, this dual function, non-technical version is almost as efficient – although Wendy was not too enamored with the design.

Fish Foot Massage. This is not one for those with ticklish feet, but how do you fancy having a foot micro-massage from hundreds of Turkish Garra-Rufa fish? These little creatures nibble away at dead skin, and provide a stimulating experience for your feet. They have been used to cure psoriasis and eczema, but remarkably have been banned in Florida.

So, we sent Wendy to Bangkok on the pretence of getting a pedicure … … …

Thai Massage. Thai Massage is a very skilled, physical yet relaxing form of massage that involves a lot of yoga-like stretching and deep tissue manipulation. The theory behind it revolves around the body being permeated with “lom” (air/energy) which is stimulated by the massage and encouraged to travel through the body.

While Wendy was has having her feet done, we sent Mike to experience a rather more physical massage than he would have liked!

Lego Neck Massage. When we were kids, we never had Facebook or Twitter to keep ourselves occupied. We played on bikes, read books, drew pictures and created stuff with Lego or Meccano. With a little bit of ingenuity, anything is possible with a Lego set, as we found out when we discovered this Lego Neck Massager.

Wendy was away (and Mike was in recovery), so we had one of the office juniors demonstrate it

Spa Capsule. This is really awesome and complete indulgence – and you do not even have to take your clothes off! When you climb inside one of these “personal water jet massagers”, you are treated to a great massage experience and aromatherapy all in one. There is also a DVD player and iPod hookup to encourage you to relax whilst 28 water jets pound a protective sheet around you to give you the full body treatment.

Wendy has never been one to pass on an opportunity where she did not have to remove her clothes  … … …

Breast Massager. Of all the wacky and weird contraptions on the market, this one caught our attention – although the practical implications of using this device in the office raised a few eyebrows! Suitable for both sexes, it does not perform so well when turned around to massage your back, but has applications for the person with the larger gluteus maximus.

Wendy declined to be involved in this demonstration, so you will just have to use your imagination.

Roadroller. But for the ultimate deep tissue manipulation, get yourself a BW 120 AD double drum road roller, a reinforced concrete floor and some soothing music. Apparently, this is also banned in Florida!

We found this form of treatment particularly effective on uncooperative office staff … … … … … “Wendy!!!!”

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